Change is in the air

For the last 8 years I have worked every weekend with a great bunch of ladies. I'm going to be leaving them soon. I can't express the dread I feel. They are so much a part of my life and my every day that I can't imagine not seeing them on a regular basis anymore. I haven't talked much about my new endeavor. It's not that I'm not excited...I am...it's just well these are my girls! I don't know how I'll get by without them to talk to each weekend. I don't want to think about it. Just typing this I have tears in my eyes. I don't know who will share my life, who will understand my special brand of crazy? I'm no spring chicken. It's hard at my age to strike up new relationships. I've had babies with these girls, I've gone through good times and bad times with them. Damnit...we're a clique! I can't begin to tell you how I feel. I feel like, I don't know, like an intergral part of me is dying. It's scary out there and you need your friends, your girls. I know that the reason I'm going is the right thing for my family (and I don't doubt it it for a minute), but I am so very sad! So very, very sad! As the day grows closer I wonder...is this the right thing? Yes, yes, I know it is. But, I already miss my bitches!!! You can't know what you mean to me. I love ya'll!