Housewife or Martyr?

Like many women I stay home with my kids...except I also work outside of the home on the weekend. Because I'm home during the week a large majority of the housework falls to me, I think that's fair in the sense I'm there and all...but I also do 90% of the grocery shopping, clothes shopping, kids appts, carpooling...you get my point. Our house is smallish (1700sf) and we are lovers of stuff. It's a challenge to keep it organized and tidy. I hate to admit it, but I'm losing the battle. It's a struggle every day. It makes me so sad. I'm not used to living in such chaos. It doesn't seem to bother anyone else but me. When I moan to dh about it he says that I might just need to accept that we have 4 kids, and the stuff that 4 kids come with. When I complain that I do everything he says I'm being a matryr. I don't believe that. My house was tidy growing up and there were 7 of us. When I think about it though we were all gone during the day. I'm home...with the kids...every single day. We actually LIVE in the space. We live hard in the space. Is it too much to ask that we live hard in a clean and tidy place?
So...I guess I will martyr myself on the pillar of the pursuit of the elusive clean yet lived in home. I will conquer this. I will fight on! And when you think of me...think of me with a broom in one hand and a dust rag in the other!